Family Home Evening Lesson Preparation: Pick your favorite story about President Erying and use it to teach a principle. You could teach about the importance of journals, listening to your wife's inspiration, working on the church farm, listening to long church talks, or reading Louis L'Amour novels....and many more.
President Henry B. Eyring
Background
President Eyring was born on May 31, 1933 in
President Eyring was a professor at Stanford, President of Ricks College, Commissioner of Education for the Church, in the Presiding Bishopric and was called to be an apostle on April 1, 1995. His father was a famous scientist and he met his wife at a Harvard church meeting.
His motto in life is “be the best you can.”
His family philosophy is “family relationships are very complicated. You can’t hope to read every social science book ever written on family relations and the rearing of children. Some of that information is very useful because you can get some ideas. But the only way to be effective is to have a few principles in your heart that you can hold deeply and then to act out of them.”
President Erying is always the first one up in the morning in his home. He prepares wonderful breakfast. He paints with watercolors to illustrate colorful family home evening teaching materials.
He never pursued sports that he could not do with out his family. He is known for the tradition of his “Saturday Morning Projects.” He would organize work projects for the family and they would all do them on Saturday mornings. He also had a little desk top stove in his office at Ricks. He would invite his children to come by and he would cook a lunch for them.
His “advice to a newly called person in the church: 1) you are called of God 2) the Lord will guide you by revelation and 3) the Lord will magnify you. Testify using the voice that is the same He would use and life using the hand He would use.” (October 2002 General Conference)
Childhood
Boring talks. President Henry B. Eyring once related a story to a gathering of BYU alumni that I attended about his father from when he was a youth. He said they were sitting in church listening to what he thought was the worst talk he had ever heard. It was high council Sunday and the speaker just droned on. Every time he looked over at his father he saw him fully entranced by the speaker. He kept watching his father and never once did his father loose focus.
After the meeting Eyring asked his father, “Dad, wasn’t that the worst talk you’ve ever heard? Why were you so interested in it?” His father responded, “Hal, I have followed three practices every time I listen to a talk. First, I pray to Heavenly Father that he will help the speaker deliver the message He wants him to share, second, I pray to know what it is that he wants me to learn from the speaker and third, I repeat in my mind what I think the speaker is trying to say. And you know since doing that, I have never heard a bad talk. (Personal Experience of Reid A. Robison)
Serving Others. President Faust related the following story about Elder Eyring’s father in General Conference. A story shared by our beloved associate, Elder Henry B. Eyring, illustrates this principle of commitment still further. This story is about his father, the great scientist Henry Eyring, who served on the Bonneville Stake high council. He was responsible for the welfare farm, which included a field of onions that needed to be weeded.
At that time, he was nearly 80 and suffering from painful bone cancer. He assigned himself to do weeding even though the pain was so great that he pulled himself along on his stomach with his elbows. The pain was too great for him to kneel. Yet he smiled, laughed, and talked happily with the others who were there that day weeding that field of onions. I now quote what Elder Eyring said of this incident:
"After all the work was finished and the onions were all weeded, someone [said to] him, 'Henry, good heavens! You didn't pull those weeds, did you? Those weeds were sprayed two days ago, and they were going to die anyway.'
"Dad just roared. He thought that was the funniest thing. He thought it was a great joke on himself. He had worked through the day in the wrong weeds. They had been sprayed and would have died anyway.
". . . I [asked] him, 'Dad how could you make a joke out of that?' . . .
"He said something to me that I will never forget. . . . He said, 'Hal, I wasn't there for the weeds.” Elder Henry B. Eyring, "Waiting upon the Lord,"
Young Married Experiences
Meeting His Wife. The decision to continue his studies at Harvard proved to be significant for another reason. It meant he was still in
After that sunrise service, he saw a young woman coming out of a grove of trees. Not only was he struck by her beauty, but at that moment the words of President David O. McKay came to his mind: “If you meet a girl in whose presence you feel a desire … to do your best, … such a young woman is worthy of your love” (Gospel Ideals, Salt Lake City: Improvement Era, 1953, page 459). “That was exactly how I felt as I saw Kathleen for the first time,” says Elder Eyring.
Hal and Kathleen were introduced at church the following Sunday. “I knew Hal was someone special,” Kathy remembers. “He thought deeply about important things.”
The courtship continued throughout the rest of the summer and then by mail and phone after Kathleen returned to
Following Promptings. “In our own time, we have been warned with counsel on where to find safety from sin and from sorrow. One of the keys to recognizing those warnings is that they are repeated. For instance, more than once in these general conferences, you have heard our prophet say that he would quote a preceding prophet and would therefore be a second witness and sometimes even a third. Each of us who has listened has heard President [Spencer W.] Kimball give counsel on the importance of a mother in the home and then heard President [Ezra Taft] Benson quote him, and we have heard President [Gordon B.]
“Every time in my life when I have chosen to delay following inspired counsel or decided that I was an exception, I came to know that I had put myself in harm’s way. Every time that I have listened to the counsel of prophets, felt it confirmed in prayer, and then followed it, I have found that I moved toward safety. Along the path, I have found that the way had been prepared for me and the rough places made smooth. God led me to safety along a path which was prepared with loving care, sometimes prepared long before.
“Sometimes we will receive counsel that we cannot understand or that seems not to apply to us, even after careful prayer and thought. Don’t discard the counsel, but hold it close. If someone you trusted handed you what appeared to be nothing more than sand with the promise that it contained gold, you might wisely hold it in your hand awhile, shaking it gently. Every time I have done that with counsel from a prophet, after a time the gold flakes have begun to appear and I have been grateful.”
(Conference Report, Apr. 1997, 31-35; or Ensign, May 1997, 24-26)
Promptings Often Come Through Spouse. Kathy proved to be more than a good wife and mother. She became another of those defining influences in the life of Henry B. Eyring. The best example of that happened when Hal had been teaching at Stanford for about nine years. It was a richly satisfying time in their lives. He was given considerable freedom to design the classes he taught at Stanford. He returned for one year to
But that was all to change. “One night,” Elder Eyring reports, “Kathy nudged me and asked, ‘Are you sure you are doing the right thing with your life?’” He stops for a moment and then explains, “I was surprised. Now remember my situation. I have tenure at Stanford. I am the bishop of the Stanford ward. We are living next to her parents. I love what I’m doing. It’s like the Garden of Eden, all right? And then she asks me that question.”
“Couldn’t you do studies for Neal Maxwell?” she went on. Elder Eyring stops again. “You have to understand something. Neal A. Maxwell was the commissioner of Church education at that time. Kathy didn’t even know him. I didn’t know him.”
When asked about that night, Kathy is not sure what it was that brought forth that question. “We were very happy there,” she agrees, “but somehow I just felt like there was something more important that he should be doing. I knew that his teaching at Stanford was wonderful, but I felt there was something he could teach that could truly change lives.” She knew about the Church Educational System (CES) and somehow remembered that Neal A. Maxwell was the commissioner. Thus her comment.
It was enough. Hal determined he would pray about it. At first he got no answer, or so he thought. But not long after that, the phone rang and Commissioner Maxwell, who apparently knew of Hal Eyring, was on the line asking if Hal could come to
“I was at my parents’ house,” Elder Eyring recalls, “so Elder Maxwell came over there. The first words out of his mouth were, ‘Hal, I’d like to ask you to be the president of
Elder Eyring smiles at that. “You’ve got to remember, I grew up in the East, and I was living in
But a call of such importance was not treated lightly. Even before leaving
Gerald N. Lund, “Defining Influences,” Ensign, Sept. 1995, 10.
Parenting
Patience as a parent. “I have a memory of watching my little boys kick each other as they lay before me on the floor during our family night as I taught a lesson on peace in the family. In fact, that topic would bring it on. They heard me, they understood me, and yet they had been kicking for a long time before I started preaching. Now, years later, they reach across the world to help each other. But the change takes time. So be patient and persistent.”Henry B. Eyring, “Blessed are the Peacemakers,” Church Fireside, February 6, 1994.
Journals to record gratefulness. When our children were very small, I started to write down a few things about what happened every day. Let me tell you how that got started. I came home late from a Church assignment. It was after dark. My father-in-law, who lived near us, surprised me as I walked toward the front door of my house. He was carrying a load of pipes over his shoulder, walking very fast and dressed in his work clothes. I knew that he had been building a system to pump water from a stream below us up to our property.
He smiled, spoke softly, and then rushed past me into the darkness to go on with his work. I took a few steps toward the house, thinking of what he was doing for us, and just as I got to the door, I heard in my mind—not in my own voice—these words: “I’m not giving you these experiences for yourself. Write them down.”
I went inside. I didn’t go to bed. Although I was tired, I took out some paper and began to write. And as I did, I understood the message I had heard in my mind. I was supposed to record for my children to read, someday in the future, how I had seen the hand of God blessing our family. Grandpa didn’t have to do what he was doing for us. He could have had someone else do it or not have done it at all. But he was serving us, his family, in the way covenant disciples of Jesus Christ always do. I knew that was true. And so I wrote it down, so that my children could have the memory someday when they would need it.
I wrote down a few lines every day for years. I never missed a day no matter how tired I was or how early I would have to start the next day. Before I would write, I would ponder this question: “Have I seen the hand of God reaching out to touch us or our children or our family today?” As I kept at it, something began to happen. As I would cast my mind over the day, I would see evidence of what God had done for one of us that I had not recognized in the busy moments of the day. As that happened, and it happened often, I realized that trying to remember had allowed God to show me what He had done.
More than gratitude began to grow in my heart. Testimony grew. I became ever more certain that our Heavenly Father hears and answers prayers. I felt more gratitude for the softening and refining that come because of the Atonement of the Savior Jesus Christ. And I grew more confident that the Holy Ghost can bring all things to our remembrance—even things we did not notice or pay attention to when they happened.
The years have gone by. My boys are grown men. And now and then one of them will surprise me by saying, “Dad, I was reading in my copy of the journal about when . . . ” and then he will tell me about how reading of what happened long ago helped him notice something God had done in his day.
My point is to urge you to find ways to recognize and remember God’s kindness. It will build our testimonies. You may not keep a journal. You may not share whatever record you keep with those you love and serve. But you and they will be blessed as you remember what the Lord has done. You remember that song we sometimes sing: “Count your many blessings; name them one by one, And it will surprise you what the Lord has done.” (October, 2007 General Conference, O Remember, Remember)
Parental Example. This story emphasizes the role that parents have on their children through example. The afternoon my mother died, we went to the family home from the hospital. We sat quietly in the darkened living room for a while. Dad excused himself and went to his bedroom. He was gone for a few minutes. When he walked back into the living room, there was a smile on his face. He said that he’d been concerned for Mother.
During the time he had gathered her things from her hospital room and thanked the staff for being so kind to her, he thought of her going into the spirit world just minutes after her death. He was afraid she would be lonely if there was no one to meet her.
He had gone to his bedroom to ask his Heavenly Father to have someone greet Mildred, his wife and my mother. He said that he had been told in answer to his prayer that his mother had met his sweetheart. I smiled at that too. Grandma Eyring was not very tall. I had a clear picture of her rushing through the crowd, her short legs moving rapidly on her mission to meet my mother.
Dad surely didn’t intend at that moment to teach me about prayer, but he did. I can’t remember a sermon from my mother or my father about prayer. They prayed when times were hard and when they were good. And they reported in matter-of-fact ways how kind God was, how powerful and how close. The prayers I heard most were about what it would take for us to be together forever. And the answers which will remain written on my heart seem most often to be the assurances that we were on the path. (Ensign, Nov. 2000, p. 85)
Power of the Atonement. The effects of the Atonement in our lives can also produce in us the example those we love will need. I learned again the other night the example we need to be.
I was chatting with my wife at the end of a long day. Three of our children were in the room, listening. I turned and noticed that one of them was watching me—and watching my face intently. And then he asked me, softly, “Why are you unhappy?” I tried to give a reason for my furrowed brow, but I realized later that he could well have been asking this deeper question: “Can I see in you the hope for peace in this life that Jesus promised?”
To turn my thoughts from what darkened my look to what would brighten it, I went to another letter from Mormon to his son. Both Mormon and
“My son, be faithful in Christ; and may not the things which I have written grieve thee, to weigh thee down unto death; but may Christ lift thee up, and may his sufferings and death, and the showing his body unto our fathers, and his mercy and long-suffering, and the hope of his glory and of eternal life, rest in your mind forever” (Moro. 9:25).
(Ensign, November, 1986 74)
Have I taught them enough? In time, when the child is away from home and family, prayer can provide the shield of protection the parent will want so much for them to have. Parting can be hard, particularly when the parent and the child know that they may not see each other for a long time. I had that experience with my father. We parted on a street corner in
It was a sunny day, around noontime, the streets crowded with cars and pedestrians. On that particular corner there was a traffic light which stopped the cars and the people in all directions for a few minutes. The light changed to red; the cars stopped. The crowd of pedestrians hurried off the curbs, moving every way, including diagonally, across the intersection.
The time had come for parting, and I started across the street. I stopped almost in the center, with people rushing by me. I turned to look back. Instead of moving off in the crowd, my father was still standing on the corner looking at me. To me he seemed lonely and perhaps a little sad. I wanted to go back to him, but I realized the light would change and so I turned and hurried on.
Years later I talked to him about that moment. He told me that I had misread his face. He said he was not sad; he was concerned. He had seen me look back, as if I were a little boy, uncertain and looking for assurance. He told me in those later years that the thought in his mind had been: Will he be all right? Have I taught him enough? Is he prepared for whatever may lie ahead?
There were more than thoughts in his mind. I knew from having watched him that he had feelings in his heart. He yearned for me to be protected, to be safe. I had heard and felt that yearning in his prayers, and even more in the prayers of my mother, for all the years I had lived with them. I had learned from that, and I remembered.
Prayer. Prayer is a matter of the heart. I had been taught far more than the rules of prayer. I had learned from my parents and from the Savior's teachings that we must address our Heavenly Father in the reverent language of prayer. "Our Father . . . in heaven, Hallowed be Thy name" (Matt. 6:9). I knew that we never profane His sacred name--never. Can you imagine how the prayers of a child are harmed by hearing a parent profane the name of God? There will be terrible consequences for such an offense to the little ones.
I had learned that it was important to give thanks for blessings and to ask for forgiveness. "And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors" (Matt.
I had been taught and found it true that we can be warned of danger and shown early what we have done which displeased God. "And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil" (Matt.
I had learned that we must always pray in the name of Jesus Christ. But something I had seen and heard had taught me those words were more than a formality. There was a picture of the Savior on the bedroom wall where my mother was bedridden in the years before she died. She had put it there because of something her cousin Samuel O. Bennion had told her. He had traveled with an Apostle who described seeing the Savior in a vision. Elder Bennion gave her that print, saying that it was the best portrayal he had ever seen of the Master's strength of character. So she framed it and placed it on the wall where she could see it from her bed.
She knew the Savior, and she loved Him. I had learned from her that we do not close in the name of a stranger when we approach our Father in prayer. I knew from what I had seen of her life that her heart was drawn to the Savior from years of determined and consistent effort to serve Him and to please Him. I knew the scripture was true which warns, "For how knoweth a man the master whom he has not served, and who is a stranger unto him, and is far from the thoughts and intents of his heart?" (Mosiah 5:13).
Years after my mother and father are gone, the words "in the name of Jesus Christ" are not casual for me, either when I say them or when I hear others say them. We must serve Him to know the Master's heart. But we also must pray that Heavenly Father will answer our prayers in our hearts as well as in our minds (see Jer. 31:33; Heb.
Lesson Learned As a Bishop (Repentance). I learned a long time ago that it is hard to know how you are doing in being born again and why it is not easy. Once, as a bishop of a ward, I worked with a young man not much older than many of you. He'd made great mistakes and had been moved by faith in the Lord Jesus Christ to make long and painful repentance. We were down to the weeks before he was to be married in the temple. I had long before forgiven him in the name of the Church and had given him his temple recommend. Yet he remembered that I had said, "The Lord will forgive you in his own time and in his own way." But now he was deeply concerned. He came to my office and he said: "You told me that the Lord would someday let me know that I was forgiven. But I am going to the temple to marry a wonderful girl. I want to be the best I can be for her. I need to know that I am forgiven. And I need to know now. Tell me how to find out." I said I would try.
He gave me a deadline. My memory is that it was within less than two weeks. Fortunately, I already had a trip scheduled. During that period of time I went to
I said that I did, but I didn't think that was the place to talk about it. He thought it was. It was an outdoor party. My memory is that we went behind a shrub and there had our interview. Without breaking confidences, as I have not with you, I outlined the concerns and the question of this young man in my ward. Then I asked Elder Kimball, "How can he get that revelation? How can he know whether his sins are remitted?"
I thought Elder Kimball would talk to me about fasting or prayer or listening for the still small voice. But he surprised me. Instead he said, "Tell me something about the young man."
I said, "What would you like to know?"
And then he began a series of the most simple questions. Some of the ones I remember were:
"Does he come to his priesthood meetings?"
I said, after a moment of thought, "Yes."
"Does he come early?"
"Yes."
"Does he sit down front?"
I thought for a moment and then realized, to my amazement, that he did.
"Does he home teach?"
"Yes."
"Does he go early in the month?"
"Yes, he does."
"Does he go more than once?"
"Yes."
I can't remember the other questions. But they were all like that--little things, simple acts of obedience, of submission. And for each question I was surprised that my answer was always yes. Yes, he wasn't just at all his meetings: he was early; he was smiling; he was there not only with his whole heart, but with the broken heart of a little child, as he was every time the Lord asked anything of him. And after I had said yes to each of his questions, Elder Kim ball looked at me, paused, and then very quietly said, "There is your revelation."
Sufficiently humble. Stripped of pride. Stripped of envy. Never making a mock of his brother.
When I went back to the young man and told him what I then knew, he accepted it. But he may have simply had to take my word for it. You see, it's hard to feel that you are sufficiently humble. If you did, you might not be. He went forward with his marriage. I've seen him since. To me he still looks as he did on the front bench before a priesthood meeting.
My guess is that he has retained a remission of his sins. I don't know if he knew then or if he knows now with the certainty he wanted, but I am sure of something. When that change of heart comes to me and to you, when we are cleansed and blameless before God, it will be because we have been made pure by the blood of Christ. And I know what I can and must do. I must be baptized by a servant of God holding the true priesthood, I must have received the gift of the Holy Ghost by that same power, and then I must have exercised faith in the Savior long enough and carefully enough that his grace will be sufficient for me. And I know at least one way to know that is happening in your life, or in mine. You will have put yourself so often in the Master's service, bringing the cleansing companionship of the Holy Ghost, that you will be on the front row, early, whenever and wherever the Master calls. It will be gradual enough that you may not notice. You will be humble enough that you may be reluctant to believe it is happening. But those with spiritual discernment who love you will know. And the Savior and our Heavenly Father will know. And that is enough. (BYU Devotional, Come Unto Christ, October 29, 1989)
Fasting is Personal. A fun story that I recall hearing Elder Eyring tell was about the time they had a dinner for the newly appointed President of Ricks. President Kimball, who was his wife’s uncle was in attendance. President Kimball was sitting at a nearby table and noticed that Elder Eyring was not eating. He called over and said “Hal, why aren’t you eating?” Elder Erying was horrified and embarrassed. He wanted to downplay the fact that he was fasting in preparation for the big event. President Kimball very loudly told him that he told he should eat something…it was a great lesson for Elder Eyring…to keep fasting a personal and private act. (Reid A. Robison journal entry)
Grandparenting
Bridging the Generations. Your deacon’s quorum president next week may ask you to invite to come with you to a Sunday meeting a boy who has never attended nor has anyone in his family. You may trudge up to his house, get him to come with you a few times, and then see him move away. You may think you haven’t done much that mattered. But the grandfather of such a boy came up to me during a stake conference, described in detail how a deacon had done just that for his grandson—more than ten years before and almost a continent away—and with tears in his eyes asked me if I could thank that deacon for him, now grown older, unaware that the Savior had reached out through a twelve-year-old servant assigned by a thirteen-year-old quorum president.
Some of you brethren know the feelings of that grandfather. The mother of his grandson was raising him alone with no contact with the Church. The grandfather had tried every way he knew to reach out to touch their lives. He loved them. He felt responsible for her and for his grandson. And he knew what you know: He knew that someday, when they saw things as they really are, they would wish with all their hearts that they had made the choices that would qualify them for eternal life, choices which won’t and can’t be made without faith in Jesus Christ sufficient to salvation (Elder Henry B. Eyring, Ensign, November 1995).
Coping with stress. All our married life, Diane has thought of Louis L’Amour as the Harlequin Romance Novel of a man’s world. I love Louis L’Amour books. One time at a fireside at BYU, Elder Eyring spoke of his passion for reading Louis L’Amour books. Often in delayed in an airport, he would read one of those books. Well, immediately, Diane’s respect for my little way of relaxation increased. Elder Eyring spoke of how in each book there is a theme of “Riding for the Brand.” He spoke of how we should remember that BYU and the Church have a brand that we represent. President Hinckley counseled us about the BYU Experience in these words “It must have an everlasting impression on you. It is scarcely perceptible most of the time. But none the less real. It should become an inseparable part of your very nature, something intangible of great worth—substance. Cultivate it in your lives—hold its very essence until you grow old and gray….until you can do what President Hinckley’s father did at the end of his life…habit of sitting on the wall pondering on what he had read the night before. He never ceased to learn. He was a great reader with a wonderful library.” He said he hoped we would take the habit of seeking knowledge and that this habit would never leave us as long as we live. A truly educated man never ceases to learn. He never ceases to grow. (Journal Entry of Reid A. Robison)
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